Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
