your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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