your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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