Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
