you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
