I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
