My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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