a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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