Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
