I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
