i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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