Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
