Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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