You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
