Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
