He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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