ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize