The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
