i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
