There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
soo... how was my night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
