I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize