Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
