At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
