He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize