I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
