Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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