how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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