I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
