I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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