Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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