he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
