Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
50% drunk capacity currently
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
