The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
