It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
