It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Your penis caused this!
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