see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
