Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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