yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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