It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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