I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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