I cockslap morals
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
