people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
