that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
