life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
