They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
