I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
