I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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