My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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