so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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