Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
