You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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