Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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