just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
