The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All I want is dick and wine.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
