She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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