they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
