It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
