I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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