who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
