Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
