dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
