I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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