Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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