Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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