So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
