So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
