you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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