Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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