i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
