her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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