ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Couch. On fire.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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